Monday, September 1, 2014

Stewie's Come Out of the Closet

by Miss Angel Chihuahua

It's true. Stewie's finally come out of the closet. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, I think it's about time.

See, any time the weather even thinks about starting to rain or thunder, especially thunder, Stewie gallops into the bedroom and hides himself in the closet Beard and Nice Lady conveniently leave open for him. They've even left a pile of old clothes on the floor where he can lie down and be more comfortable while waiting for Teh Horror to go away--that is he can lie there if he's not trying to burrow his way through the drywall, which I'm pretty sure he tries to do some times.

That tough guy persona he puts on?  Pfft. It's all an act. While I'm lying comfortably in my bed, enjoying the beauty of the lightening flashes, he's shaking and shivering in fear that the rain and thunder that is outside the house will somehow get to him inside the house. He's not very bright.

It's just like what I overheard that old human politician say on the glowy box the other day, "You have nothing to fear paper bags, strangers, sudden movements, baths, people in white coats carrying needles, places I've never been before, change, loud people voices, being alone, not being alone....


Excuse me. I'm going to go hide in Stewie's closet for a bit.


  1. Don't let Miss Angel tease you, Stewie. I think it's very brave of you to occasionally venture out of closet. Even if, as I suspect, it's only to get more kibble.

    And Miss Angel, you're a girl, and therefore I know that secretly you really do appreciate closets. That's where the shoes are, you know.

    1. Look, Miss Cass. Angel exaggerated as usual. You know--

      *shoves Stewie out of the way*

      Oh, hi again, Miss Cassandra. You know, back in the old puppy mill days, one of the older bitches grabbed a ladies shoe once. that's all we ever had to play with. Of course, now life's a little easier WHAT WITH VERMIN LIKE STEWIE NOT AFTER ME 24/7, so I'm more relaxed and get to enjoy some things in life. Nice Lady was watching a show on the glowy box the other day. It had more shoes on it. The ladies watching the show called them pumps. They called them a certain kind of pumps, but I don't think I can repeat that here. All I know is that I want four of them. Size 3/4".

  2. Stewie, don't let Angel make you feel ashamed. I'm afraid of everything but my squeaky chew.

    I'll come hide in your closet too. We can get real close and keep each other safe. I'll feel safe with your there...touching me...and feeling warm...and....

    Oh, Stewie, you got me panting again. Behave yourself. What do you think we are, animals?

    1. Hiiiiiiiiiii, Tiffi.


      I mean *smiles all friendly like*

      I don't know what came over me. It was a flashback You know, from back when I was in the puppy mill. Nothing personal at all. I mean, not that I wouldn't but if I couldn't then I wouldn't, except if you said I shouldn't--

      I forgot where I was.

      But know this. You can always share my hidey hole with me. And I'll always behave myself with you. me here, Tiffi. Why exactly should I behave myself?

    2. Because you're sharing the closet with Miss Angel, that's why! What are you going to do, hang your collar on the doorknob so she knows to stay away?

  3. Miss Angel! Stewie! I totally have a new pet! Her name is Baby. She'd totally love to play with both of you! And you'd...

    Actually, you'd probably run away and hide in the closet, to tell you the truth. Baby's big for her age, and she has rather sizeable teeth. Also horns. But I love her! Beard man might show you a picture, if you wanna see.

  4. When did this turn into a horror blog?

  5. Hi, Tiffi.

    Baby's actually kind of cute. I think you'd like her.

    Okay, maybe you wouldn't like her. But she's harmless, as far as I know. Nobody I know who's gone to seen her has ever had anything bad to say about her. On the other hand, none of them has returned either, so....


  6. Poor Stewie. Storms and thundering can be very scary. So can all the fireworks on the 4th of July. Let's hope the noisy storms are over for year? :)